If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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