i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
