She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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