UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
