im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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