wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
