Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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