lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize