she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just had sex on a roof
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
