The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
