Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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