i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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