a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize