Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
its liver damage thursday
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
