Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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