I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
