i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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