I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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