I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
