If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
