i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
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You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
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I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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