just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
