So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
