She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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