Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
