Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
