Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are never too drunk for berry picking
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize