The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
