I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
