i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
