How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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