Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
