We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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