It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
even my farts smell like vagina
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
