I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
