I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Is it penis luge time yet?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
