He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
