i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
