He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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