How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
