The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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