Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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