I never want to see another naked old woman again.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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