Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
