i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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