He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
