What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
