You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
