I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always time for handjobs
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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