love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
