i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
