I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
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From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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