I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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