is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
