dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
