you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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