I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
