I think I am morally bankrupt
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
