remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
