Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
