I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
