They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible