Three words: puerto rican gang bang
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?