dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
birth control should be required to get into college
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.