i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
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HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.