Apparently you make a good broom.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
