I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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