I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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