Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
