A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
